Our Year Hosting Gianluca

Still Waters Run Deep

2011-05-13T20:04:00.000-07:00

In honor of Gianluca's mother, Roberta, I'm writing a blog post as my gift to her. Tomorrow is her birthday. Happy Birthday Roberta!

Max, Gianluca, Mason, Calum, Ty and Patrick at May Faire.

Picking out his tux with his friend Francesco, who is from Italy, of course.

Our Superbowl party.

Working hard pulling weeds for AFS National Day of Service.

True brothers. Earth Corps volunteer day for National Day of Service. We pulled out a long of blackberry vines!
AFS National Day of Service Crew

Easter dinner at Costas Opa. It was different....
Auntie Karyn loves G!

Helping Mason celebrate turning 16!

I realize I haven't written on this blog in a ridiculously long period of time and I've been asking myself why. I'd like to say that we've just been too busy and I haven't had time, but that's certainly not true. I think initially it was fun to write down all the different activities that we did with Gianluca, but somewhere along the way he became a true member of our family and we settled into a comfortable routine. Honestly, there is nothing exciting to write about our routine, so I think that's why I haven't written. Not really a good excuse, but I think it helps explain it.

Now that G is about to head home to Italy I've been thinking about his year with us. Gianluca is such an easy going guy, just like all his AFS paperwork said he was. He was NOT lying about it! He's one of the most relaxed and easy-breezy people I have ever met. It's really a wonderful trait in a person and I admire him for it.

Mason and I were talking in the car about things this morning and I realized that this year has been a year of relative calm. I love my Noah, but I think he and I will readily admit that we get into our fair share of tiffs about the most ridiculous stuff. So I asked myself what has made the difference. It didn't take me long to figure it out. If I ask G to help me with ANYTHING he helps. He doesn't hesitate, he just does it. He's so incredibly helpful. I realized that what I need from Noah and Mason is just a little more yes and willingness to help. Mason has certainly stepped it up lately and is lending a hand around the house more, and for that I am grateful. Gianluca has been an excellent role model for Mason and I think the two of them have truly become brothers. It has been lovely to watch. So, long story short, Noah when you get home, if you want to avoid tiffs with me, try a yes now and then and I think we will be fine.

Gianluca is about to go to his senior prom in a week. He's got his tux picked out and a date to boot! I'm looking forward to seeing him all dressed up with his black tux and pink tie! I've never met his date but I've seen pictures and she's adorable. I'm sure they will have a great time out with their friends on this special night. Prom is a big deal here in the US and I'm glad that he's getting a chance to experience it.

This year has brought about a lot of growth for Gianluca. He has learned that vegetables won't kill him and he's eaten quite a lot of different kinds of veggies. He's also eaten a lot of ethnic food that he had never tried before. He's become a fan of Indian and Thai food, and developed a fondness for sushi. He took on the responsibility of making dinner one night a week and did it so well. We love his homemade pizza and will continue to make it ourselves after he leaves. He's very independent, but this is something he already was when he came. He's kayaked and hiked. He's been a true adventurer. He gets to try his luck at camping here a week or so with his AFS group. He's pushed himself in areas that he's willing to risk and he's maintained boundaries in areas that he does not want to risk. I respect those choices. I think what has impressed me the most is his decision to make this a drug and alcohol free year. To my knowledge he's had a dry year in that respect and he did it with great ease. I have never had to worry about his safety. He makes wise choices. His feet are planted solidly on the ground.

It's been a big year having Noah, Ilaria and Kali out of the country. The children lost their beloved grandfather Fred on the heels of losing their other grandfather, my father, Stan. In many ways it has been a somber year and I hope Gianluca has not suffered because of it. He's never complained about a thing (except maybe the bees that infested his bedroom for two months of this year--something understandable). In some ways I am saddened by the fact that G never got to meet my father, a man I think he would have really connected with. I'm so grateful that he met Fred and honestly G put a special effort into getting to know Fred, something that really touched me. Gianluca has been surrounded by a sea of aunties and grandmothers with a sprinkle of uncle thrown in the mix. He's done well with all these women around him. One thing I know well about Gianluca is that he values family. It's very important to him. He comes from an incredibly warm family in Italy and he's shared that love of family with us this year.

I think what I'd like to thank Gianluca most for is just putting up with me in general. My humor can be tough to take and I think it's fair to say that I have teased him incessantly this year. I told him recently that I have teased him so much only because I love him. I also told him that he's given me a lot of material to work with! He's been a trooper and I'm hoping he doesn't feel like I was too hard on him. Gianluca, honestly I think you are perfect in every way. I wouldn't change a THING about you! And every time I see a "happle" (apple), I'll think of you.

Gianluca is such an amazing guy with so many complex gifts. I admire the fact that he can just go out and run for three hours! He's methodical about most things and enjoys his alone time, something that I value as well. I think I would say that with him, still waters run deep. He's a great thinker and philosopher. I'm excited to see what he does for a profession when he gets out of school. He says finance or something, but I would challenge him to consider teaching. I think he'd be a gifted teacher.

I know that G's family is looking forward to having him back and I'd say he's just about ready for that transition. He has done beautifully this year, he's so adaptable. I look forward to hearing his stories of return and the ways he sees this year impacting him back at home.

Well, that will do it for now. I realize this is a very random post and for that I'm sorry. Just stream of consciousness coming out of a week of illness on my part. At least I finally got something written down!

Parenting 101

2010-11-06T16:07:00.000-07:00

This past month we said goodbye to Grandpa Fred who fought a brave fight against ALS and died with such grace and beauty. This year I have seen the loss of both of my fathers and the loss is great.
The Michaelmas dragon bread. Gianluca got to experience his first Michealmas.
Gianluca tried his first sushi for Miku's birthday party this month. He liked it!
Gianluca's first jack-o-lantern. He did a great job!
Lucy and Mason with their respective pumpkins. Nice job!

This weekend has posed for me a new challenge in that it was the first time that Gianluca was knowingly invited to a party with alcohol. I appreciate that he was honest with me about what the specifics of the party were and I told him that I had to think about it. In the end, after consulting with about twenty different "experts" I told him no, of course. For me, the responsibility of caring for someone else's child is quite daunting. Gianluca's parents are trusting me to keep him safe, and this was the first time where I really feel like I was tested. Gianluca wasn't too happy about my answer but in the end he accepted it. I reminded him that he did not come here to party. He came here to learn about our culture and attend American school. He came here to expand his family.

As a reward for his honesty, my friends Andrea and Scott decided they would treat Gianluca and Mason to Go-cart racing and a meal at Red Robin. It was a gracious gesture and they too wanted Gianluca to know that they were proud of his honesty. I've been working on honesty with him, and just general opening up and sharing. He's a pretty quiet and private kind of person and sharing is not something he does readily. He has acknowledged this, but he also has made great efforts to share with me what he is feeling. I appreciate this because I know it is a struggle for him. He can articulate that back home he does not readily share with his parents, but that he'd like to work on it. He really loves his family. As he grows older it will serve him well to be able to express his feelings, so I think this is the great gift of his year abroad. I want him to also see that he can trust adults, that we have his best interests at heart, and that we really are interested in what is going on in his life.

One of the other AFSers calls me a "helicopter mom". If I am perceived as someone who pays attention and is right there in the middle of the action, then I'm okay with being a helicopter mom. I'd rather be right there, invested in my kids. They don't have to like it. It's not my job to be their best friend!

The other big issue that has come up is dating. While I am completely comfortable with Gianluca dating I realize that we have different values. Because I teach sexual education courses to adolescents I am acutely aware of the importance of strong values around sexuality. I want Gianluca to think about the girls that he is dating and value them. I want him to consider how his actions affect the girl he is dating. I want him to be gentle and loving and respectful. He says he wants to just date many girls and have no girlfriend per se. I'm not really sure that is true, because in actuality I think he is a really kind and considerate young man. But all of this has caused me to pause and ask him why he is really here in the US. If he is here to drink and go to parties, and to randomly date girls he will soon discover that I can't support that vision. It is my hope that by the end of the year his priorities will have shifted and he will have gleaned something far greater from his experience in the US and with our family. I am confident that will happen. Eight months from now when we look back he will see that what he got from his experience is far different than what he had originally anticipated.

I'm looking forward to the journey.

Oh, and hey I got a job!

It's Been Awhile...

2010-09-30T17:50:00.000-07:00

Gianluca said goodbye to Hiroko who was just with us for three weeks. We had a great time with her and we were sad to send her home to Japan.
Mason managed to give me a smile even though he had the stomach flu at this particular moment. What a trooper!
Gianluca has a standing tradition of taking photos with glasses. This is his newest entry.
We went to John and Katrina's house for one of their fantastic parties. Fun was had by all!
Gianluca whipping Connor at table tennis. Connor is really good, but G was just a tad better.
Tennis champ in action!
Making brownies with sister Miku. Gianluca loves anything sweet and brownies are no exception!

Greetings!

It has been a long time since I've posted, my apologies. I'm trying to adjust to "working" as I'm currently in the middle of my clinical aspect of my MA program. I'm really loving it but it's taking up a lot of my time and by the time I get home I'm pretty darn exhausted. I also had a marathon 6 day migraine last week that was horrific. I'm pleased to say that it has left me.

Gianluca has been doing very well as of late. Part of not posting is just that we have kind of settled into the rhythm of the school year and there really isn't much to report. He's doing very well in school, seems to have no academic issues and is applying himself in every respect. I have fun helping him with his writing. He's a very good writer who just needs a little help with translation. I'm amazed at how things can be translated into words that really make no sense in the English language. Also, it's funny when we run across a word that in Europe means one thing but in the US means something completely different. The best example of this was the other night when G was doing his homework and I found him looking through my pencil basket. He looked up at me and asked "Nina, do you have a rubber?" I had to chuckle because I knew that he more than likely was looking for an eraser. Sure enough he was and I got to explain to him what a rubber is here in the US. We had a good laugh filled with his usual response to things "Really?" He's a curious guy for sure. Thank goodness I saved him the embarrassment of asking for a rubber from someone at school! Whew!

In the evenings after dinner we all enjoy playing Bananagrams. That is a wonderful game for learning English words. I suspect by the end of the year Gianluca will be beating me at this game, but for now I am the champion.

Gianluca has been playing all exhibition matches with his tennis team but is winning almost every one of them. I'm hoping this means the coach will soon allow him to play a REAL match. He's such a good player and that would be nice for him to experience. Still, he enjoys his team and I remain grateful for the opportunity he has had to play a school sport. Tennis will end soon and I'm not sure what sport he will take up. All I know is we will find something to keep him active.

G went to his quarterly AFS retreat last weekend and all the AFSers had a wonderful time. He came back not particularly enamored with camping, but having had a great time with his friends.

Mason has been out of town with his class this week so the house has been a little quiet. This weekend Gianluca will be able to go to a Sounders game with a friend of his choice and I'll be hitting the books for my Logic class. This class is going to be a lot of work!

Coming up on October 16th we will celebrate the wonderful life of my beloved father-in-law, Fred Lanphear. He was such an amazing man and his legacy lives on strong in his family. My children were really blessed to have two such wonderful grandfathers. That they lost both in the same year feels particularly cruel. We miss them both so much.

Mason is excited for ski season to begin but with todays beautiful 76 degree weather it's hard to believe that's around the corner. Seriously, today was just stunning outside!

Gianluca was given money by his parents to buy a computer so we are gearing up to welcome him into the Apple family. It will be his first Mac and I know he's going to love it. What a generous gift from his parents, and I think it will be well used. Thanks Mauro and Roberta!

Well, kind of a boring post but that's all I have. All is well and I'm happy about that.

Ben & Jerry's and Cheerleaders!

2010-09-19T20:33:00.000-07:00

So, I've discovered two things that Gianluca really loves. Ben & Jerry's and cheerleaders. He can down a pint of ice cream in one sitting and these lovely cheerleaders agreed to take a photo with him at the fair. They were very sweet and he didn't seem to mind. I have to admit it was my idea, and I'm the one who asked them to take the photo, but he was a good sport and jumped in the photo, which I appreciated.

The School Year Begins!

2010-09-09T07:53:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Mason and Gianluca had their first day of school. For Mason this was his first year of high school, which is so exciting. I can hardly believe my youngest is in high school. I got a very brief report from him last night saying it was a great day. That's all I really needed to hear, but I can wait to see him tonight to get a more in depth report.

For Gianluca this was obviously his first American high school experience so I was really curious to hear what had happened. Gianluca is a pretty mellow guy, so I wasn't expecting him to jump up and down about his day but we did have some funny discussions about the fact that he still cannot figure out how to open his locker, his decision to just eat the one thing he found on top of his lunch and not actually look in the whole sack to see what was there, and his concerns about his last class of the day, US History. He informed me that his teacher said that they were a 'special' class, and that not much would be required of them. He really didn't like that, he said that he felt that the kids in this class were probably the worst students in the school. He thought perhaps the teacher was not very good. I'm not sure if that is true but I think we may have to reconsider that class. The other classes he says that he likes and he said that people were very friendly. So, first day was good. Today is day two and he woke up very tired. He ate his breakfast, packed up and decided to walk to school. I'm trusting that he made it there on time.

Today is Gianluca's first tennis match and Mason and I are going. I really know nothing about tennis, so it's going to be a challenge for me to understand what the heck is going on. Do they have a scoreboard for tennis?? God, I hope so.

Pizza!

2010-09-05T21:06:00.000-07:00

Jeevan, Gianluca and Kali
I'm really going to miss this beautiful girl. She's going to have such an amazing adventure in Italy!
Yum! Pizza fantastica!

A few nights ago we went over to my sisters house and Gianluca made us homemade pizza as a farewell dinner for Kali, who will be leaving to Italy today for her AFS adventure. I marveled at how he made the crust from scratch like it was nothing. He made it look so easy, so relaxed. He didn't measure anything, just knew how much flour, yeast and salt to pour out onto the cutting board. He then slowly added water and mixed the dough with his hands. It was really quite a beautiful process. When it came time to make the red sauce he was perplexed as to why it was pink. I later found out that the longer you blend the tomatoes, the pinker they become. So, we will work on the sauce part. All in all I thought it was excellent and I was really stuffed at the end of dinner. Gianluca gave it a six out of ten. Part of my frustration with cooking, and why I feel I am particularly good at it, is that I find it difficult. Gianluca showed me that it doesn't have to be complicated to be good. I love what this young man is teaching me.

I've been thinking about hosting and what it really brings to my life. I love hosting for many reasons but I really love the growth that I get to observe over the course of the year. When a student comes to your house they come with their challenges, the things that they need to work on, and it really is a privilege to help them with their journey. For Gianluca his challenges are unique to him and I have seen so much growth just in the three weeks that he has been here. He is learning that he has a great deal of strength and that he is capable of a lot. He's a highly capable person, I already knew that, but he is very brave and willing to risk.

Calm

2010-08-31T12:26:00.001-07:00

Birthday boy with his waffle!
On Saturday Gianluca got to learn how to play kick ball out at an end of the year party for Mason's class. He even jumped in and played with the parents when they played. I was very impressed. He thinks it's kind of a silly sport but he joined in anyway, which was nice.
Brazil vs. Italy. Italy dominated!!!
Birthday hike in Discovery Park. Beautiful day.
The weather was so beautiful for his birthday yesterday and today is really quite ugly outside. I'm grateful we had such a nice day to celebrate him.

The last week has been full of events. Friday was Gianluca's cross town scavenger hunt to celebrate his birthday, which was a tremendous success. Great fun was had by all. On Saturday we drove out to Arlington for a end of the year party with Mason's class. There were three AFSers there, the same ones I took to Portland so Gianluca had lots of company. I was really impressed when he jumped in to play kick ball with the class and the parents. He's so willing to participate, which is really cool. He's such an easy going guy, which I really love and appreciate. On Sunday we went to the AFS picnic and the weather was pretty bad. Before we went we visited the grandparents in Bothell and introduced Gianluca to Costco. It was great to meet some more of the AFSers at the picnic, and their host families. I think we have a great bunch of kids this year. Everyone seems really engaged and ready for adventure.

It has been a whirlwind couple of weeks since Gianluca arrived. He has been very busy since the beginning. Now this week it's like the wind went out of the sails and there is pretty much nothing to do. Yesterday was his actual birthday and we went over to my sisters and joined with some of the family to make a nice breakfast. Then we went over to Discovery Park for a short hike. He finished his afternoon up with tennis practice and then we came home for dinner. I decided that he needed to see "Role Models" on the eve of his birthday so we went out to the video store to get it. We had ice cream and I was the one laughing as many of the jokes in Role Models are out of context for him. I think he liked the movie however, so that's good. I realize the movie is highly inappropriate but I love the humor in it. What can I say? There is still a teenager inside me.

This week Mason is hiking with his class in the Cascades so it's just Gianluca, Miku and I here at home. Tonight Gianluca is going to a Mariner's game with some friends, which should be interesting. Right now we're watching the US Open, which is something I can honestly say I have never done.

School starts next week, something I know Gianluca is ready for. In the few short weeks he has been here his English has improved tremendously. I think he's going to do well at school.

I start my preceptorship on September 13th at the UW. I'm terrified and at the same time kind of sad to close the chapter on not working and being back in school. I've enjoyed my flexible schedule the last 18 months. The whole 8-5 thing is going to be tough for me.

Noah is settling in finally in Norway and is really having an amazing time. His family there is just what he needs and he really appreciates them. I do as well. We are so fortunate to have them in our lives.

Gianluca's 17th Birthday Cross Town Scavenger Hunt

2010-08-27T16:44:00.000-07:00

The birthday boy.

Hope he made a wish.

Today we had Gianluca's cross town scavenger hunt for his 17th birthday, which is this coming Monday. We had four teams of five, driving in cars around the city, completing tasks. I've only included Gianluca's team because there are so many photos. I think everyone had a great time and Gianluca will hopefully remember this birthday party fondly. I know I had a great time.

One team member had to ask a random stranger for a piggy back ride. Kali stepped up to the challenge and this nice lady helped us out.
Our team in front of Roosevelt High School where Gianluca will attend.
Each team member had to run one lap to form a full mile. Gianluca was fast!
The team had to wrap one team member into a toilet paper mummy and take a photo of a stranger with a dog. This lady was very sweet to help us.
The team in front of a public library. One team member had to register and obtain a library card. Patrik stepped up and now he's a card carrying member of the Seattle Public Library.
Down at Shilshole Bay.
One team member had to eat a banana split with a tasting spoon.
One team member had to buy a flower and give it to a stranger. Gianluca made her day!
Our team at the famous Gum Wall in Pike Place Market

And He Makes the Varsity Team!

2010-08-26T22:49:00.000-07:00

What a great week we have had. On Saturday we drove down 1-5 and made a stop at Mt. St. Helen's to see the volcano. On the trip I had Gianluca, my son Mason, Max from Germany, Gabriel from Brazil and his host brother Rohan, who is also one of Mason's best friends. We had a nice drive down and after seeing the volcano headed south to Portland. In Portland we stayed with one of my dearest friends, Monika, and her family. The five boys enjoyed swimming, playing video games, watching horror films and just generally hanging out together. We took some time to drive out to the Oregon Coast, just south of Cannon Beach at Oswald State Park. We had a lovely afternoon at the beach. On our way out of town on Wednesday we stopped to do some school shopping and had a fairly hilarious time in Target. Mason decided to try on the maternity jeans which was a great source of laughter for us all.

Today Gianluca had his tennis team tryouts for his high school and made the varsity team! I was so PROUD of him. I mean he plays it kind of cool, makes tennis look easy, but seriously, he's an amazing player. The coach was happy to have him and he scored one of only four available spots on the team, beating out some ten or so other players who will now play on the junior varsity team. Very impressive! The only problem was that the coach was speaking so fast that Gianluca didn't really understand that he made the team. I had to explain to him once we got to the call. Once he figured it out he was very happy. He worked really hard today to earn that spot and I'm grateful that he'll have the opportunity to be a part of a team.

Tomorrow we are having a cross town scavenger hunt in cars to celebrate Gianluca's birthday. He'll be 17 on Monday August 30th. We'll take a lot of photos and post them as soon as possible.

A Great First Week

2010-08-20T21:32:00.000-07:00

Gianluca has been here one full week and it really has been full of some pretty fun stuff. It's hard to believe he's only been here a week and I am amazed at the difference between the shy young man that I picked up on Saturday and the one who is with us now. Not that he is a different person, it's just that he has really opened up and bonded with our family is a real organic way. It's wonderful to see his big smile. My heart swells when I see it because it tells me he's getting comfortable and trusting us more.

Gianluca is so very similar to my youngest son, Mason, that it's been challenging for them to find common ground and connect. So, last night I asked Gianluca if he'd be willing to go with us to the park and play some tennis with Mason. He was very gracious to do so and I tell you it was HILARIOUS. I laughed so hard, Mason really did try, and of course Gianluca was patient and chased after A LOT of stray balls. I think this simple exercise really did break the ice because it was awkward and laughter was abundant. I think laughter does a great deal to bring people together.

Today Gianluca and I went to take his sports paperwork into his school so that he can try out for tennis next week. We were able to see only a small portion of the school but what we saw was really beautiful. I have never been in this school before and the architecture really impressed me. I have no idea whether the academics are as much to marvel at, but I'll wait to place judgement once Gianluca is actually attending. After going to his school we went down and dropped my car off to get the oil changed and walked down to get a cup of coffee and look in shops at U Village. It was a nice walk. Then we went to AT&T and Gianluca got a simm card for his phone, so he is officially wired! This is great because it gives him more freedom to roam the city and explore. After U Village we went to see a play, "Guys and Dolls", performed by local teens, one of which is a friends son. It was really great. I don't think Gianluca understood much but the music was fun for him and it was a true cultural experience. Tonight I made pesto pasta for dinner and he was so excited. He, for the first time, ate a big helping (actually two) and I was thrilled. I've been a bit worried that he's not eating enough, but now I know it's because I'm probably not making things that he likes. I'm really not a very creative cook, so in that respect I may fail him occasionally, but I'm doing my best.

Tomorrow morning we are headed to Portland. We'll be taking Max (from Germany) and Gabriel (from Brazil) as well. It should be quite the experience for me in a car with five teenage boys! I think I can handle it.

All in all, Gianluca's first week has been very successful. I'm really pleased with his progress with English, but more importantly I'm just thrilled that he is such a wonderful young man who we are all quickly coming to love.

He's a TENNIS player!

2010-08-18T20:20:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I bought Gianluca a tennis racket for his birthday. Originally I had planned on giving him snowboarding lessons but when we went to the sporting goods store I realized that he was eyeing the rackets and I asked if he would prefer the racket for his gift and his face lit up! I figured why give him a gift that he MIGHT enjoy when I can give him a gift I KNOW he will enjoy. Those are the best gifts.

When I woke up this morning I called my friend Julie and asked her if her son Julian would like to play tennis with Gianluca and she graciously arranged some court time at her country club and we headed over to Kirkland. It became quickly clear that Gianluca is an AMAZING tennis player. Truly. I love it when my kids excel at something and really embrace it. Watching Gianluca I could see in his whole being that tennis brings him a great deal of joy. As a host parent this is a moment you hope for, a time when you see what brings your new son or daughter satisfaction. We want the same things for our own children but we have been instrumental in helping them discover their passion. With an AFSer it's all new. Like your own children you then are charged with making sure that they can realize their dreams. So clearly Gianluca will play on a tennis team while he is here. That is clear.

We finished up the evening with dinner at Tutta Bella with my friends Geoff and Lisa and their kids, as well as their exchange student, Gabriel, from Brazil. The pizza was excellent and Gianluca was incredibly hungry after two hours of tennis. He earned ever bite of that pizza!

All in all this was a very satisfying day.

A Great Beginning

2010-08-16T22:06:00.000-07:00

Gianluca was a professional by the end of the trip. He did amazingly well.

Here he's just getting loaded into the boat and I know he was nervous. You could see it on his face. But he overcame that fear and did it. So proud of him.
Getting started. Jeevan, myself, Kali and Gianluca
What a crazy group!
Gianluca met some new cousins today. He met Calista and Annelyse!

Today marked Gianluca's second full day with us. Our family has packed in so many events these last few weeks of summer and Gianluca has been kind of thrown into the mix. The upside is that he's getting to do some pretty cool stuff right off the bat, which although it may make him tired, I think he's really enjoying it. On Sunday we woke up and made waffles with fresh raspberries and cream, and some bacon. Then we went down to Pike Place Market to look for gifts for Noah's host family in Norway. After that we drove out to see the family at the grandparents house. This was all very overwhelming for Gianluca, I'm sure.

Today was a fabulous day filled with adventure. Today is my sister Karen's 40th birthday and we had the opportunity to go kayaking on Lake Union and Lake Washington. Gianluca had never been kayaking and I could see that it made him nervous. He was willing though, and embraced it. Once out in the water it took almost no time at all for him to be comfortable and learn how to maneuver his boat. He did great and what a rite of passage it was! It was also the first time that Grandma Carol had been kayaking and at 71 she did great! Tonight we picked up another AFSer, Max, and took him with us to Alki Beach to celebrate Karen's birthday with a good old fashioned weenie roast and smores. We saw a beautiful sunset and shared excellent company with friends and family. Gianluca and Max even joined in on a frisbee game with Noah and Mason.

What made me most happy was that I saw a lot more smiles on Gianluca's face. He seemed much more comfortable today and he really accomplished a great thing with his kayaking. I think he's going to have a great year with many new experiences. He's got a healthy curiosity and he is very brave. That's all he needs.

Funny Story

2010-08-14T20:38:00.000-07:00

Gianluca met Kali, Jeevan and Jordan
Gianluca gave Dhania some cheese and then she fell in love with him.
Picnic at Greenlake

Funny story. So today Mason and I got up early to finish preparations for Gianluca's arrival. I asked Mason to clean out the car and I gave him a spray can of carpet spot cleaner. An hour later we got in a very clean car only to discover that Mason had used the entire can of cleaner and the car was TOXIC. By the time Mason and I got to the orientation we were both sick from the fumes. Thank goodness Gianluca's "zia", Valerie, showed up to introduce herself and rescued us by driving Mason and Gianluca home so they would not have to be exposed to the fumes. She stayed and had a lovely visit with us and I prepared our picnic for Greenlake and then she piled all the kids in her car once again and we drove to 7-11 for Slurpee's. On a hot day a Slurpee is the best! She then drove them the rest of the way to Greenlake so that they could be free from exposure. By the time we headed home the smell was a little bit better but it was still pretty overpowering. We had a nice little picnic at the beach, thoroughly overwhelmed Gianluca with mostly MY talking, and it quickly became apparent that he was exhausted, so we headed home. He has showered and fallen asleep. He was a very good sport with our loud, obnoxious family (okay, I'm mostly the loud one). I think once he gets to know us he will be able to better appreciate our way of being. We can be awfully silly! At the park he was able to meet my sister Karyn, my niece Kali, Kali's boyfriend Jeevan (who will go to school with Gianluca) and one of her best friends, Jordan.

It was very hot in Seattle today and I'm not a fan of this heat. I'm hoping tomorrow is a little cooler. Tomorrow we will go to Pike Place Market to pick up some gifts for Noah's host family and then we will head out to Bothell to see the grandparents. Noah will say his farewell to his grandfather Fred and his grandmother Nancy. I'm sure it will be a bit sad.

Welcome to Seattle Gianluca. Roberta and Mauro you have a lovely son. Thank you for sharing him with us.

Finished the Room!

2010-08-13T11:59:00.000-07:00

Okay, I finally pretty much finished Mason and Gianluca's room.

Mason says it looks like a girls college dorm room. What do you think?

I have way too much on my plate and I'm feeling the stress of it for sure. I have to finish cleaning the house, finish all my classes for this quarter, go to a birthday party tonight for my sister and my brother-in-law who are both turning 40 and then tomorrow we finally meet Gianluca and bring him home.

I have to admit I'm nervous. You want so much for your student to feel at home, not like a house guest, but like this is their home. You have no idea if there will be a good connection until you actually meet. I know I'm a good person, but how do I know Gianluca will like me and my family? I have no idea why I am feeling so insecure about it, but hopefully tomorrow all of my fears will be lifted and we'll adjust well. I have heard from Gianluca's AFS "Auntie" Valerie who says he is such a sweet boy. She adores him. So there you! I adore her, and if she likes him then I know I'll like him.

I'm really enjoying reading all the AFS hosting blogs. Keep up the good work people and I hope your initial adjustment period goes well.

Gianluca Has Started His Journey!

2010-08-11T18:54:00.000-07:00

It's Wednesday night here in Seattle and I'm sitting at my school just having finished writing a paper on HIV/AIDS. As I was writing my paper I was aware that back in Italy Gianluca and his family have said their goodbyes in Rome, and he has begun the first stage of his journey. I'm sure he's sleeping now, as well as his parents. In his mother's mind she is probably worried about what this year holds for him. She is certainly sad that he has fledged from the nest, not to a university or his own apartment, but across the Atlantic Ocean and clear to the other side of the United States! This must be distressing for her and I feel her distress quite acutely as I realize that my own son will depart next Tuesday for his year in Norway. I wish I could give Gianluca's mother a warm hug right now and assure her that I will do my best to care for her son while he is with me. So I'm sending you a cyberhug Roberta, with the wish that both of us can be strong for our sons as they venture out into the world, to grow and shine. It's a brave thing for a mother to do, but it's also an act of grace. Our children are our hearts. Letting them go is NOT an easy thing to do. This takes me to one of my favorite poems:

On Children
Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Safe travels Gianluca. We are looking forward to meeting you on Saturday.

Warm regards and much love to Roberta and Mauro. I will do my best.

Promise.

What does it mean to be a host parent?

2010-08-10T06:36:00.000-07:00

This photo is of my daughter Ilaria, son Noah and my Norwegian daughter Siril (CC).

I have been contemplating what it is that exchange students look for in a host parent. This is a big question really, and obviously the answer comes from the unique qualities and expectations of the student, but it can be a heavy question. Most students want to experience a new culture, new family and traditions and they don't want to travel across the globe to only find that their home is identical to their life back in their own country. The chances of things being identical are of course quite slim but it does remind us host parents to just be ourselves and not try to be like their parents back home. We are guardians and loved ones, but we are not their parent. I've never tried to be the "parent" and most of my students call me Nina, not mom, but a few have called me mom and although I don't require it, I don't mind it.

For me it's important to just be there for them, to show up and participate in their lives, to make sure they know that I will listen with unconditional love. What I want for my own children I share with my exchange students. I want them to do what they love, explore the things that they are passionate about, be safe and content, and to strive to be good global citizens. Hopefully this is what Gianluca will learn from me, that I am not trying to be his mother away from home, but that I am an advocate for his happiness and what he can bring to the world. I like to think of myself as someone who champions the youth of the world. They have so much potential to do good and what they need more than anything is to know that we believe in them.

Ilaria Leaves for Scotland

2010-08-02T21:01:00.000-07:00

Today my daughter Ilaria left for Scotland. She'll be gone until next July. I'm going to miss her so much but I'm so proud of her and I'm excited to hear about her journey.

A Farewell Party

2010-08-01T21:20:00.001-07:00

Today we had our farewell party for Ilaria, Noah and Kali. Tomorrow Ilaria leaves to Scotland. Next up, Gianluca will arrive on August 14th and then Noah leaves August 17th. What an adventure.

2010-07-30T23:04:00.000-07:00

My daughter, Ilaria, leaves Monday to volunteer in Scotland for the year. I'm going to miss this beauty of a girl. Thanks for being such a constant source of joy my dear daughter. I love you.

A Sunny Day in Seattle

2010-07-24T21:37:00.000-07:00

Today was a beautiful Seattle day. The view of Mt. Rainier was spectacular. So, what did I do today? I went to an AFS volunteer training session! I spent all day in a library learning about AFS and our local chapter. I learned a lot and I was surrounded by really good people who volunteer their time to help youth from the Pacific Northwest venture out into the world, and welcome students from all over the world. They give of their time selflessly because they get satisfaction out of being of service. I was very impressed with the dedication that I saw today, and I couldn't help but want to participate in my own way. I'm not sure what that is going to look like. I am obviously hosting, and I'm sending two of my kids abroad this year, but I'm not sure how I can be most helpful to AFS. So tonight's reflection has me thinking about how I can best serve an organization that is devoted to spreading world wide peace. What I do know is that being a good host mom to Gianluca is a good start. That in itself is a challenge with my busy life, but I will do my best. Sending two of my children abroad is another way that I contribute to their process of becoming global citizens.

Next Sunday is our farewell party for two of my children and my niece. I can hardly believe that in eight days my daughter will be on a plane to Scotland. Time goes by so fast. You have to hold them close and then let go when the time is right. Sometimes you have give a gentle nudge out of the nest. I think I'm doing just a little of both with her. She makes me so proud and I'm grateful that she has this opportunity to be of service.

Rites of Passage for Us All

2010-07-21T15:42:00.000-07:00

I have been enjoying talking with Gianluca's mother online. It helps me to get a window into his world and adjust to make him feel welcome in the United States. I marvel at the ease of communication with today's technology. If I think about it I'm really in the same situation as her, being that I'm sending my son abroad this year to be cared for by another family. What that means for me is letting go and trusting that all will be well. Gianluca's mother will have to do the same. She seems very capable of doing this, for which I am grateful.

It's a big responsibility to care for someone else's child. As a host parent you are signing up to really be there for your student 150% of the time. Not only are they adjusting to a new country and city, they are adjusting to a new family who probably does things remarkably different from their own. This is a scary prospect for students and host families alike. It's also tough on the parents that are sending their son or daughter out into the world. They are choosing to believe that everything will be okay, and as host parents we do our part to make them feel at ease. What that looks like for me is clear communication and that can be challenging when you speak two very different languages. It can be quite comical at times. I like that I will learn Italian by default, simply because it's useful to communicate in this way, and culturally it's respectful. We have learned that the translators on Google are not reliable and will often give you a jumble of words that when thrown together make absolutely no sense. I'd like to think that I can fall back on my knowledge of Spanish, but Italian and Spanish are quite different. I do find that I can read Italian and understand it a little easier because of my experience with Spanish, but there is a lot to learn.

My daughter will leave for her year in Scotland on August 2nd. My son will leave for his year in Norway on August 17th. Sandwiched in there is Gianluca's arrival in Seattle. I think we're going to be okay, but there seems to be a lot of buzz around here. I'm trying to finish up my summer quarter so I can focus on these events. So much to look forward to, so many changes that require strength and grace.

Deep breath.

The Decision to Host

2010-07-14T13:29:00.000-07:00

So, we have a new family member coming in August. His name is Gianluca and he's from Italy. It's exciting but I have to be honest here, I hadn't really planned on hosting an AFS student this year. In August we're sending our son Noah to Norway with AFS to live with the family of our former exchange student. Also to be considered is the fact that I'm an unemployed full time student, and I am still reeling from the loss of my dad. However, when I went to Noah's orientation for his year abroad I had the opportunity to read the bios of incoming students that still needed host families in the Pacific Northwest. When I came across Gianluca's bio I was instantly drawn to a young man who seemed to be so content and happy with his life and was looking forward to a year abroad. It concerned me that he did not have a family yet, so I asked my youngest Mason if he would be okay sharing a room with a total stranger, and as is typical of Mason, he just kind of shrugged his shoulders and said "I'm okay with whatever"......well he said something like that. He's a pretty easy going guy but this year is going to be different without his big brother around. Maybe this coming year was going to be a year free of a big brothers influence. I did ask myself if inviting a new family member would get in the way of his unique experience this coming school year. However, Mason assured me that he is game for it, and he's looking forward to maybe teaching Gianluca how to ski. He's just open to it, which is cool. That's all I really require.

I've hosted before. The addition of CC (Siril) to our family back in 06-07 was a tremendous gift. She is a remarkable girl and she came to our family in October of her year abroad, having had a poor fit with her first host family. Ours was not a perfect household, but we had a room and a willingness to welcome her. Little did we know that she would so perfectly fit into our family, and more importantly, into our hearts. Not every student will have the same effect on you, but most will. There are struggles and adjustments but if you open your heart, and your mind, to the possibilities of welcoming someone new into your family, great things can and do happen. CC is very much my daughter and I love her like I love my own children. I've also hosted international college students from Japan, Korea, China and Vietnam. They are all daughters to me as well. We have a big and blessed family.

Am I worried about whether Gianluca will enjoy his time here? Of course I'm worried, just like I'm worried about Noah in Norway, Ilaria in Scotland, and Kali in Italy. You want for your kids to have a positive, eye opening experience. Traveling across the globe and inserting yourself into someone else's life is a brave thing to do, and it doesn't always work well. But when it does work well your family expands and your heart welcomes a new family member. I have faith that Gianluce will come with an open mind and willingness to flex with things that are different. We will of course do what we always do, listen. I think that communication is key. From the moment they walk into your life let them know that they can come to you with anything. Let them know that you will listen and be non-judgmental. Being a teenager is difficult! This doesn't mean that there are not rules, because there always are, but trust is key. I choose to trust my children to make wise choices and I give them a great deal of freedom as a result. They have not let me down. When I read that Gianluca's parents had this same philosophy, I was comforted. This next year will be an adventure for all us. We will remain positive and hope for the best, with a clear commitment to providing Gianluca the best experience possible.

Here's to a new adventure!

Nina